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June 5th, 2005

07:10 am - Spring Cleaning
It was getting musty in here. A new paint job and new icons. Some new posts, and we're all spiffed up.

Who needs sleep anyway?
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Stabbing Westward - Angel

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06:19 am - Lifted from Some Guy....

1. Comment with any subject that you would like me to rant about, with probable swearing involved.
2. Watch my journal for your rant (it may take a while).
3. Post this in your own journal, so that you may rant for others.

Thanks Anaudic.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Stabbing Westward - So Far Away

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05:18 am - Robbers in the Night...
Okay, so it worked to put the shitty music in my head.

How about some Music of the Night, and I can run through some mental Phantom bits....? Ah, much better.

Lifted this on a random search through friends of friends journals.

Not exhaustive in any way, just what I can remember or see in my office:
Music File: A - ZCollapse )
I really am way more of a music whore than I thought.

Not sure if that's a good thing. Even if it's a good thing, it may be better for the industry than for me.
Current Mood: guiltyguilty
Current Music: Mediaeval Babes: Alba

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02:01 am - One of these days...
I'm actually going to use this journal the way it was designed. I will again return to the digitizing of my memories.

Negative Middle of the Night RamblingsCollapse )
Current Mood: moodymoody
Current Music: Chevelle - The Clincher

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May 13th, 2005

10:26 pm - Moo-Vee Mee-Mee... Better than an Es-You-Vee
Heh, lifted this with no frills straight outta Compton.... well, from a buddy's LJ (almost the same thing, really :P).

How many movies have you seen?

Movies Movies, Everywhere the MoviesCollapse )
I have also seen a lot of movies NOT on this list. I am beyond a Movie Whore. I could probably hook an entire block.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: NIN - All the Love in the World

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03:57 pm - Use the force...

What kind of Jedi are you?
LJ Username
Dark Side Growth Potential - 57%
Light Side Growth Potential - 29%
Master's Name _scrap
How likely you are to lose a limb - 38%
Lightsaber Blade's color Yellow
Lightsaber Style Double-Bladed Lightsaber
This QuickKwiz by neo_epyon - Taken 36387 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

Interesting... and no wonder I might be drawn to the darkside (joking, Cory). And that 38% chance of losing a limb is because they have a klutzy person using a DOUBLE-BLADED lightsaber.
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: Police - Invisible Sun

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May 7th, 2005

04:30 am - Almost There
Almost the end of the semester. Almost done with most of the gargantuan pile of crap I had to do. Always almost. And I'm still behind. I was supposed to be done with the online quizzes four hours ago.

So I took a quiz while waiting for the server to come back up, and it made me feel a little bit better about myself, for no apparent reason:

Your SAT Score of 1340 Means:

You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern

You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush

You Scored Higher Than Al Gore

You Scored Lower Than David Duchovny

You Scored Lower Than Natalie Portman

You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates

Your IQ is most likely in the 130-140 range

Equivalent ACT score: 30

Schools that Fit Your SAT Score:

College of William and Mary

New York University

Boston College

United States Naval Academy

University of California, Berkeley

Current Mood: nauseatednauseated

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April 27th, 2005

07:20 pm - Oh yeah.... I did it! Now I just gotta keep doing it
Well, I passed my Comprehensive Exam.

And I passed with flying colors. Not that it means anything, since the exam operates on a pass/fail system. Although it did make me feel better to know. And doing so well makes up for last summer, when I did not pass. This also means I don't have to go through scary oral comps.

I ended up with a 3.66 total... which comes out to somewhere in the nature of an A-. My lowest grade from any grader was a B. You only need a 2.5 to pass.

The director of the MA program said that people only have a "high pass," or a score over 3.5, about once a year. So it proves to the professors (and myself) that I am a good candidate for the program, and that I took the previous problem seriously, and corrected for it.

Now if I can just get off my ass about thesis and I'll be happy. I have new revisions to make. Will hopefully do those in the next two days.

So... my to do list for the next week:

Oh my God, look at the time!Collapse )
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Is that the tow truck with AAA to change the tire?

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April 20th, 2005

12:13 pm - The World Around Me
Most days I settle for being unhappy with myself.

Other times, I look around me and realize that certain occurrences scare me silly.

I joke to make things seem less threatening, and yet at times there is a darkness, a deep well of mournful sadness that no amount of laughter can dispell.

Human beings have a capacity for injuring each other that is matched by no other creature on Earth. Such torture, sadism, and pure glee at the sight of another's pain should be unnatural. And yet it is as integral to us as breathing. Even nice people can have the whisper of a thought. Passing faster than the blink of an eye. "I feel justified" or "Well, they got what they deserved." And in that moment we feed the demons that we all possess. Some of us embrace those thoughts, let them swell like perverted desires. Others find ways to compensate. Maybe we do something nice, either for the person we had the nasty thought about, or another "neutral" being. Maybe we even do something completely "selfless." Volunteer to help out people in bad situations. Sometimes we just listen.

In that quiet moment we can be more than the sum of our negative thoughts. We can become as brilliant and benevolent beings. Just as the darkness touches something in our souls, a "Not me" quality that most seek to hide from, the light can reveal a positive compassion. Just as we can reach depths that no other creature is capable of, I think we can stretch above ourselves in the same fashion.

So many things could be settled, so many problems and miscommunications could be avoided if we just listened to one another. Not the pretence of listening. Not that stupid garbage of parry and riposte, where you merely gauge another's speech looking for an opening. Then you thrust in a return, without weighing the true meaning of the thoughts behind the words. As sentient beings, who want others to love us, to care about us, to respect us.... how can we demand or feel entitled to that which we will not show others?

Although I'm not trying to preach religion, or some light fantastic, it was some religious material that set me off.

I'm not a good Catholic.

I never claimed to be.

But the new Pope is a Nazi, and I have some serious issues with that.

Okay... he was "required" to join the Nazi Youth Corps. But he was directly a member of the Nazi party for at least four years of his life. A participation that ended because of the close of WWII, and not because he managed to separate himself from the group. Maybe on some level I just cannot let go of my own need to judge others. But it seems to me that the Catholic "mouthpiece of God" should have been able to fight a little bit harder, push a little bit more..... to get out of something so wrong. And in the wake of a Pope who had to apologize for the Church's involvement (or silent acceptance) in the atrocities that occurred, does this really seem like such a bright decision?

Then again this is the same religion that ridicules same sex alliances. Claims to broadcast the "truth" when it's all really more a matter of perception anyway. Lists as one major part of the etiology of homosexuality as "loneliness," effectively ignoring the fact that millions of lonely people out there are as straight as a freshly planed 2x4. That most people facing rejection and solitude don't question their sexual orientation, they tend to question their personality restrictions on a partner.

So... today is one of those days where I step out of my discontent with myself, and face a broader unhappiness with the world around me. There is hope out there for the human race.... and yet sometimes I wonder if we wouldn't rather shoot ourselves in the collective foot than reach for that hope that hovers just before us.

And the silence of this contemplation reveals no answers.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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April 16th, 2005

09:31 pm - Lifted from Em
I talk like a Yank!!! Whooo, there's a surprise. With a hint of Dixie, and a lot of General American.

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% Yankee

40% General American English

15% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: The Refreshments - Let's Go Down

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